Virgo (August 23-September 22), is the second earth sign of the zodiac ruled by mercury, a planetary body that bestows Virgos with knowledge, focus, and mindfulness. Like other earth signs, Virgos are grounded in their beliefs. They love their routines and aren’t comfortable with going out of their comfort zones.
This groundedness makes Virgo men more likely to try to bend others to their will instead of wavering on their beliefs. But is a Virgo man really controlling or just misunderstood?
They’re both. Yes, on the outside, Virgo men are manipulative, possessive, and controlling, but when you look within, you’ll see that some of their motivations for being controlling are actually purer than you think.
Want to know more about how a Virgo man controls, why he controls, and how to deal with a controlling Virgo man, continue reading to get the full scoop.
Why a Virgo Man Tries To Control You
Before we look into signs that give a controlling Virgo man away, let’s learn a thing or two about the motivations behind his controlling personality. Here are some personality traits that might explain a Virgo man’s controlling personality.
Virgo men are perfectionists and have high standards. They tend to pay attention to the smallest details and can be very critical and judgmental of themselves and others.
They may also be overly opinionated, always offering their thoughts and advice in an attempt to make things better or more efficient. They may become frustrated if things are not done to their specifications and may try to control the situation to get the desired outcome.
A Virgo man overestimates his importance in people’s lives. He’s constantly in other people’s business, whether they want him to or not because he thinks he’s trying to help them. He wants you to feel like you’ll always need him for validation, so he’ll occasionally criticize your tiniest flaws.
He’s Impossible To Please
Avoid getting into an argument with a Virgo man because how dare you win an argument with this analytical god (eye-roll). A Virgo man is set in his ways, making it difficult to make changes or compromises with him.
Additionally, he may have difficulty expressing his feelings, so it’s hard to understand what he really wants. Coupled with the fact that he’s so demanding, you’ll end up being overwhelmed often.
He Thinks He’s Intellectually Superior
A Virgo man is indeed smart, but he overestimates his abilities and often thinks he’s the smartest in the room. In a relationship, his partner might feel inferior due to his constant use of sarcasm and humor and reverse psychology to control situations. He leads people on, only to beat them back down with logic later.
He Craves Security
A Virgo man is a hard nut to crack because he doesn’t open his heart to just anyone. He spends time getting to know his potential love interest before committing when he feels secure enough in the relationship.
So although a Virgo man might want to always know your whereabouts and who you speak to, he only does this to mask the nagging insecurity he feels in the relationship.
He Has Strict Boundaries
A Virgo man tends to be very protective of his space, time, and emotions, and he likes to keep things organized and structured. He is often quite particular about how he wants things done and can be controlling about it.
He also doesn’t like to be rushed or pressured into making decisions, as he likes to take his time to think things through. He can be understanding and accommodating when it comes to other people’s boundaries as long as they don’t interfere with what he wants.
How a Virgo Man Can Control You
You may be controlled without even knowing, and you may have already begun noticing some of these signs. Without further ado, here are some ways a Virgo man might express his controlling personality.
He Dominates Conversations
He may not do it intentionally, but a Virgo man is fond of dictating how a conversation will go tonally and directionally. He loves to be the one telling jokes and asking questions, and he might even talk over the other person.
He may also be overly critical of what others have to say, not allowing them to express their opinions or ideas comfortably. Unless you bring to his attention that you want to talk undisturbed or you become assertive with your opinions and additions, a Virgo man will continue controlling the conversation.
His Way or No Way
A Virgo man is not one to easily compromise. This stems from the fact that he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. Once he has a way of doing things, it’s almost impossible to get him to change it, so don’t bother helping him clean his room unless he asks you to.
Rearranging his things without his permission will only be disrupting his routine. You can ignore this trait when he’s the only one involved, but if it comes to a situation where you both have to share, he’ll be too stubborn to see your point of view, and it’ll be uncomfortable for you.
He Can Get Jealous and Possessive
In relationships, a Virgo man likes to call the shots. You’ll often see him interested in places you go and people you talk to. On the surface, this seems intrusive, but it stems from a Virgo man’s insecure nature.
This earth sign is scared of getting cheated on, and because they’ve done so much work opening up their heart to that special someone, they don’t want to lose their security in the relationship, so they control as much of it as they can.
He may try to dictate how his partner should dress or behave in certain situations, and he may try to limit his partner’s contact with certain people all due to his underlying insecurities.
How To Deal With a Controlling Virgo Man
Communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to dealing with a controlling Virgo man. Make sure to be open and honest about your feelings and needs, but try to be diplomatic and polite when expressing them. Don’t be afraid to let him know if something is bothering you, but be sure to do it in a way that won’t offend him or make him feel attacked.
Set boundaries and make it clear to your Virgo man that his controlling behavior is not acceptable. Explain to him that while you appreciate his love and attention, you need to be respected, and your needs need to be taken into account.
Try to come up with solutions that are mutually beneficial and agreeable to both of you. This will help create a balanced relationship and prevent one person from taking the reins.
If your Virgo man’s controlling behavior is starting to affect your mental health or the relationship, seek professional help. A therapist can help you both work through your issues and come up with solutions that will be healthy for both of you.
Beneath a Virgo man’s possessive and controlling nature is an insecure person who wants the relationship to work. A Virgo man doesn’t know when he’s being controlling because it’s rooted in his nature to be analytical and judgmental.
It’s your job to bring this bad habit to his attention and encourage your Virgo man to throw caution to the wind once in a while.